Cisterns

I had a wonderful chat with a friend over breakfast the other morning.  A very life-giving, sharpening chat, actually.  And I am super thankful for it and its timeliness.  There was a sweet highlight in that it was the first time I've had to be anywhere that good at 7AM and no matter how hard I fight it, there is something special about rising early to greet the day in the Lord.  My mother-in-law actually talked about getting up early (in the context of parenting) as a way we submit to God - a point I found both enlightening and convicting.  She said God made the sun come up and go down when it does, and rising early with the sun is a way of submitting to the way that He made things, even if I am exhausted and want to tap snooze for 3 hours.  Such a great point to think on.

Anyway, back to the breakfast chat.  As I shared my heart about some things, she shared a picture about what my spiritual life may look like right now, and I'm going to continue reflecting on it because it was very interesting and helpful.

In regard to serving the Lord in ministry, I've heard the illustration many times and in many different ways that first we must be poured into by the Lord and His Word as a cistern and then what we give others is the overflow or "splash" of who we are from inside this vessel.  I do agree with this illustration.  It fits in line with Scripture in that everything we do for the Lord must be in the Lord and through His strength, not out of my own fleshly wisdom or understanding or strength.  And while I know this to be true, my practice of it greatly falls short in comparison to how long I've known it. 

The illustration that came out of our chat was enlightening for me because I already know that I tend to strive in my own strength, and the Lord has been teaching me new things about this along the way as I have victory or fail in a new lesson.  What was new insight, is that perhaps there is an issue not as often with the overflow or even how much water is inside, but that there is something wrong with the cistern.  What if there is rusting on the bottom that has continued to grow over time and has now created little holes that leak out the Living Water?  Or, what if as time has gone the Welder has been fixing these along the way and I am just now becoming aware of their presence?  And if so, what creates these and can I prevent them?

The illustration is not of pieces of the Lord or His salvation slipping out - praise God He is ever present and nothing I do can separate me from Him now that I am His.  It is a picture that there are things I have allowed to erode at me.  Things that have begun to break down core elements of me and deplete me of vital spiritual nutrients when they're poured in.  The corroded hollows are not large, if they were surely I would have noticed their impact long before now.  But they are small - starting out as nearly insignificant and have been depleting slowly over time to where the impact is now noticeable to me.  Thank the Lord that He cares enough to show me things that may even be so small but still hinder me knowing the depth of His abundant life!

Pastor Matt Chandler in a study on the book of Philippians asks the important questions "What stirs your affections for Christ?" and "What steals your affections for Christ?".  I think this concept is a foundation for my journey in identifying these erosions in my spiritual cistern.  What fears are lying under the surface that have slowly corroded truthful perceptions?  What lies have crept in over time that have distorted my view of God and of myself in His eyes?  What experiences am I allowing too much room to determine my actions and unintentionally steal some of my affection for Christ?  These things are worth a pursuit to discover and expose in the light of Christ so He, the great Welder and Living Water, can continue to pour into me all that is His and grants me all I need for life in godliness without detraction.  Even as He reveals these little erosions in the vessel, He also is the sole source of how to heal them and protect from new ones.

He must weld the brokenness, I can not. 

He must refill me, I can not.

 

"I breathe deep, like a sojourner finally coming home.  That has always been the goal of the fullest life - joy.  And my life knew exactly how elusive that slippery three-letter word, joy, can be....More what? And this was it; I could tell how my whole being responded to that one word.  I longed for more life, for more holy joy."   
One Thousand Gifts, Voskamp