Changing Habits - Words

Words...The endless amount of words that come out of my mouth!

Lately I am noticing how many words I use daily in conversation...and with that, how difficult it can be to put a gate over my mouth if I feel that deep urge within me to express something.  But there are three things in Scripture that have been challenging my heart regarding this matter:

James 1:19-20 - Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Proverbs 10:19 - When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Proverbs 31:26 - She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

These Scriptures bring up 2 main things I have been pondering:

1) Being Slow to Speak & Quick to Listen (James 1, Proverbs 10):  Sometimes I find myself just saying stuff...just saying words.  Then I try to find my way back to the origin of my point, and I get so lost on the way, that I end up just saying more words!  This truth in Scripture is a great challenge for me to not only speak slower or speak less, but to begin with listening more.  Changing my listening to speaking ratio, and my giving advice to asking questions ratio, will be a starting place to help me speak with more intentionality.  As Proverbs notes, transgression is not lacking when there are a multitude of words - which stirs in my heart a greater desire to be slow and thoughtful to speak so as to avoid sin in this. 

2) Speaking with Wisdom (Proverbs 31):  Besides the quantity of my words, I want to be careful with the quality of my words as well.  Thinking, for example, about the significance of my words and not just saying what I've always said in response to frustration, or to express awe, or gratitude, etc.  Speaking should not be fruit of a habit, but an intentional, thoughtful social practice.  To grow in my intentionality, I am attempting to use specific words in their appropriate context instead of overusing them as most of our culture does (me included).

Here are two words I am purposefully starting with:

awe·some

[aw-suhm] adjective

1. extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear 

Awesome -  There are things in the world that may cause awe in my heart, but I want to attribute the word to the Creator, not the created.

love 

[luhv]  noun

1. an intense feeling of deep affection

2. a great interest and pleasure in something

Love - if I "love" everything, essentially I love nothing.  This word I want to reserve for the people I truly love and am committed to - like the Lord, my husband, my family, my friends.  If I use this word to express my feelings of them to them and then use it toward something like: my purse, or my phone, then I'm essentially detracting the value from "love" because it would be a very shallow love, if actually love at all, if I "love" my things the same way I "love" the people I care about.  But in fact, I care about my Lord and the people in my life much more than my stuff...so one way I can display this truth is by my words. 


These are the ones I am consciously going to implement to be intentional in my day-to-day conversation.  I know there are many approaches for bettering the discipline of speaking, but as I reflect, the Lord has shown me personally that for me to become more like Him in this aspect of my life I can be more intentional both with my words and with how many of them I use.  The goal: not perfection, for my husband helped me conclude that Scripture does not tell us that every instance of using many words is a sinful thing.  The true goal: to glorify God by speaking with wisdom and speaking wisdom.  Both of which, only come by His grace and power. 

Don’t use words too big for the subject. 
Don’t say “infinitely” when you mean “very”; 

otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

- C.S. Lewis, C.S. Lewis' Letters to Children