Cisterns

I had a wonderful chat with a friend over breakfast the other morning.  A very life-giving, sharpening chat, actually.  And I am super thankful for it and its timeliness.  There was a sweet highlight in that it was the first time I've had to be anywhere that good at 7AM and no matter how hard I fight it, there is something special about rising early to greet the day in the Lord.  My mother-in-law actually talked about getting up early (in the context of parenting) as a way we submit to God - a point I found both enlightening and convicting.  She said God made the sun come up and go down when it does, and rising early with the sun is a way of submitting to the way that He made things, even if I am exhausted and want to tap snooze for 3 hours.  Such a great point to think on.

Anyway, back to the breakfast chat.  As I shared my heart about some things, she shared a picture about what my spiritual life may look like right now, and I'm going to continue reflecting on it because it was very interesting and helpful.

In regard to serving the Lord in ministry, I've heard the illustration many times and in many different ways that first we must be poured into by the Lord and His Word as a cistern and then what we give others is the overflow or "splash" of who we are from inside this vessel.  I do agree with this illustration.  It fits in line with Scripture in that everything we do for the Lord must be in the Lord and through His strength, not out of my own fleshly wisdom or understanding or strength.  And while I know this to be true, my practice of it greatly falls short in comparison to how long I've known it. 

The illustration that came out of our chat was enlightening for me because I already know that I tend to strive in my own strength, and the Lord has been teaching me new things about this along the way as I have victory or fail in a new lesson.  What was new insight, is that perhaps there is an issue not as often with the overflow or even how much water is inside, but that there is something wrong with the cistern.  What if there is rusting on the bottom that has continued to grow over time and has now created little holes that leak out the Living Water?  Or, what if as time has gone the Welder has been fixing these along the way and I am just now becoming aware of their presence?  And if so, what creates these and can I prevent them?

The illustration is not of pieces of the Lord or His salvation slipping out - praise God He is ever present and nothing I do can separate me from Him now that I am His.  It is a picture that there are things I have allowed to erode at me.  Things that have begun to break down core elements of me and deplete me of vital spiritual nutrients when they're poured in.  The corroded hollows are not large, if they were surely I would have noticed their impact long before now.  But they are small - starting out as nearly insignificant and have been depleting slowly over time to where the impact is now noticeable to me.  Thank the Lord that He cares enough to show me things that may even be so small but still hinder me knowing the depth of His abundant life!

Pastor Matt Chandler in a study on the book of Philippians asks the important questions "What stirs your affections for Christ?" and "What steals your affections for Christ?".  I think this concept is a foundation for my journey in identifying these erosions in my spiritual cistern.  What fears are lying under the surface that have slowly corroded truthful perceptions?  What lies have crept in over time that have distorted my view of God and of myself in His eyes?  What experiences am I allowing too much room to determine my actions and unintentionally steal some of my affection for Christ?  These things are worth a pursuit to discover and expose in the light of Christ so He, the great Welder and Living Water, can continue to pour into me all that is His and grants me all I need for life in godliness without detraction.  Even as He reveals these little erosions in the vessel, He also is the sole source of how to heal them and protect from new ones.

He must weld the brokenness, I can not. 

He must refill me, I can not.

 

"I breathe deep, like a sojourner finally coming home.  That has always been the goal of the fullest life - joy.  And my life knew exactly how elusive that slippery three-letter word, joy, can be....More what? And this was it; I could tell how my whole being responded to that one word.  I longed for more life, for more holy joy."   
One Thousand Gifts, Voskamp

A Book Review: A Grief Observed, C. S. Lewis

A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another wonderful book by C.S. Lewis. A wonderful, authentic perspective of walking through one's own grief and the battles of being at peace with the unknown and "misunderstanding less" as he puts it. I highly recommend reading it.

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Word of God

I am so thankful that God gave us His Word - it is an amazing thing to be able to spend my life discovering new things from the Lord because He gave it to us.  Some days, like today, I read something and I think, "wow, I just can't believe that this actually exists somewhere!"  What a gift Scripture is to us.  These verses below were some I read today and after I read it I just had to thank the Lord that He wrote this for us to read.  What an encouragement and great promise.

Psalm 18:25-30 (ESV) 

25 With the merciful You show Yourself merciful; 

 with the blameless man You show Yourself blameless; 

26 with the purified You show Yourself pure; 

 and with the crooked You make Yourself seem tortuous. 

27 For You save a humble people, but the haughty eyes You bring down. 

28 For it is You Who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. 

29 For by You I can run against a troop, 

 and by my God I can leap over a wall. 

30 This God—His way is perfect; 

the Word of the Lord proves true; 

He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him.

Book Review - The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis

My mom, sister and I are in a book club together - we call it "Literati".  It is a cool way to stay connected as we live many miles away from each other.  One of the benefits of a book club, is that you are able to digest the book together after reading it - which for me, as a verbal processor, helps me really decide what I thought about the book and what to take away from it if anything.  

But also, I just found this cool website - Good Reads.  As I hope to continue growing in how much I read, I am reading other books while we are reading for Literati.  So this website is a fun way for me to revisit books I have already read, keep tabs of ones I want to read, and digest ones I have just read.  If you are a reader, I highly recommend it so far!


Here is a review I just wrote after finishing The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis:

The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The Four Loves was a fabulous read - I underlined probably 25% of the book. For me, Lewis has yet to disappoint, but this one was very applicable and insightful. Love is something that is ever talked about in our culture - so many wrong perspectives of it, so many manipulations of it. It is interesting to see how Lewis pegged many things that are applicable to us today, though written many decades ago. It helped me identify ways to view different relationships in my life, and how to peace at peace with some as well. In the Chapter on Eros, Lewis gives a fabulous description of a husband's love toward his wife, which written between the lines is also a description on how a wife should be toward her husband. One of my favorite insights from this book, from the chapter on Friendship, says "By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets."

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The World Should Know.

I had one of those experiences last week...you know, the kind where looking back on it you say "I will never forget that for the rest of my life." 

I was at work, plowing through the normal administrative-type stuff.  Then, one of the pastors comes over to my desk and says, "There's a young lady downstairs who is looking for some help.  I am going to meet with her, will you come into the meeting as well?" I said it was not a problem at all.  When he brings the young lady into his office, she's on the verge of tears.  As we start to ask some basic questions, the floodgates open, and we give her some time to release the tears and decide where she wants to begin with her story.  

She starts by telling us that she was there for some guidance on a decision she was making.  In asking what she needed, she answered, "I need an objective opinion.  Someone to share their opinion who isn't in it."  Her situation was that she was leaving her home and her family in Pennsylvania to move to an Indian reservation in South Dakota to be with her boyfriend she had met online 7 or 8 months earlier.  We began to talk with her about this, asking questions to learn more, and the pastor giving some wonderful, God-led perspective from Scripture and as a father.  She listened very intently.

As we talked a little, I asked her, "so, you said your family is in Pennsylvania - are you not from around here?" She not only was not from our church, which would be powerful still, but wasn't even from our part of the country!  She literally had her CR-V packed with her stuff, and was traveling from Pennsylvania THAT DAY to move to South Dakota.  She had left at 4:30 a.m. to drive up...but something incredible happened.  She proceeded to tell me that she had been driving on the highway, and a voice was saying to her "get off the highway, get off the highway and find a pastor".  So she got off the highway in Illinois and began looking around our road as she drove.  When she was uncertain, she said she was pressed on "don't give up, find a pastor".  As she went down the road, she saw our church's sign, and pulled in the driveway.  Then she went in, and said, "I need to talk to a pastor."  I was overwhelmed.  My God had called to this girl while she was driving on the road and drew her into our church to meet Him. 

We continued to talk through some of the Truths that were involved with the decision she needed to make, to move to South Dakota or back home.  But God was pressing on my heart that she had to hear from us what she evidently knew deep in her heart - the reason she was there was much bigger than what was right in front of her.  My own eyes filled with tears as I looked at her and said, "God loves you so much.  He loves you so much that He said 'don't go any further, get off the highway now and find one of My children because they have something to tell you.'"  We talked about how her circumstance was big, but it was clear that God wanted something even greater for her first.  The pastor read from 1 John and Romans and we shared the Gospel and he asked, "Do you want to give your life to Jesus Christ?" She replied with a very sound mind and with purpose, "Yes I do."  Praise God He is alive!  I spent some more time with her and we made sure we could keep in touch and that she had all she needed to head out.  On the way to her car she said, "I am in awe."  I replied, "That is a great place to be."

Her story is a testimony to me that my God is exactly who He says He is.  She drove 10 hours to IL, got off the highway to hear the Truth and give her life to Jesus, and then chose to drive back home 10 hours to her family.  Her life totally changed in one day.  She didn't know what awaited her when she left that morning, but God pursued her and she responded to Him, clearly seeing that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. 

"Be lifted higher than all You've overcome, 

Your Name be louder than any other song, 

there is no power that can come against Your Love,

the cross was enough."  

-Jesus Son of God by Chris Tomlin